


wish you were gay

by sulasass



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Gay, Masturbation, alternative universe, villanelle is basically billie eilish if billie eilish was a gay with killer tendencies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 04:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19349719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sulasass/pseuds/sulasass
Summary: Villanelle is a rising pop star who just received a death threat.Eve is a bodyguard for hire.Villanelle wants her body guarded by Eve. If only Eve was a little bit gay...





	wish you were gay

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so this is a very short chapter to get it started, but expect a lot of villaneve and we'll get to a place of smutty behaviour quickly bc i'm a horny bi. 
> 
> ALSO a lot of Villanelle's music will be taken directly from Billie Eilish discography, bc can't you see that?? I'll be writing where i get the lyrics from here though. 
> 
> This chapter: Bellyache - Billie Eilish

Eve Polastri tucked her shirt in and then untucked it once more in one imperfect motion as she waited by the back door to the concert hall she was supposed to be entering. She exhaled strongly through her nostrils, unable to hide her distaste for being made to wait any longer.

Some bland looking man next to her, who was also waiting to enter backstage, extended a hand towards her. She rotated her head and on inspection, practically lunged back in pure uncomfortableness. His hands were covered in cheap cheese powder from the packet of Doritos he was thrusting in her face.

“No, no, thank you, but no.” She awkwardly smiled, giving a miniscule shake of the head.

Finally the door they were waiting outside opened to cause the music inside to thump louder.

The man who opened the door was tall and broad with greyed hair.

“Bodyguard position?”

Eve nodded along to this man with a thick Russian accent and she was sure the other three or four people were doing the same. The man next to her had the decency of wiping his cheese covered hands on his dismal suit at this new arrival.

“Follow me.”

“Oh, thank God,” Eve muttered under her breath and hurried after the man.

The music was reaching deafening levels now as they walked through the back and Eve stayed as close behind this man as she could, taking in everything around here in case it was useful to her afterwards.

“You’re a fan of Villanelle?” He yelled behind his shoulder at her.

Eve almost snorted at that.

“Villanelle? Uh… No, I’ve never listened to her.”

Now this man was laughing.

“She won’t like that.”

Eve let that settle in and nodded once with a smile to cover her embarrassment.

She considered just walking out now. Was there really any point being here if the person who was going to decide if she stayed on as her bodyguard already was guaranteed to not like her?

Her firm was competing for the deal on becoming the rising pop star’s bodyguard following a death threat she had received and they had chosen Eve Polastri as the best person for the job.

She should have listened to a song or two on the train ride up here from London.

They came to an abrupt halt on the side of the stage and Eve was able to catch her first glimpse of Villanelle on the stage. Her hair was long and dusty pink – so straight that it looked like it could cut Eve’s fingers off in one quick motion. She was wearing gold; in fact she was dripping in it. The outfit was made of gold fringe that floated with her whenever she moved. Every single piece of fringe was electrified and longed to follow her.

She was barely moving on the stage, but she was commanding the audience with her soft, gentle vocals.

The Russian man turned his head again to the prospective bodyguards, but Eve was entranced by the performance that it took a second to process what he was saying.

“This is her encore and then she’ll see you.”

Villanelle was making the decision on who her bodyguard would be, so it was important that she made the right impression. Never listening to a song of hers definitely wasn’t the right move on her part…

‘ _I wanna make ‘em scared, like I could be anywhere, like I’m reckless._ ’

Villanelle turned around slowly, one arm moving above her head as the other barely grasped at her microphone in some psychedelic fashion.

_‘I lost my mind, I don’t mind…’_

It felt as she turned that her eyes were staring right over to where they stood, or more specifically where Eve stood. That’s maybe how all singers made members of the audience feel, like they were staring right at them, but Eve felt that.

_‘Where’s my mind? Where’s my mind?’_

 

As the song came to a close, the lights dropped and Villanelle didn’t even say anything to the screaming audience, she just literally skipped off the stage, like a child.

She gave a playful slap to the cheek of the Russian guy and didn’t pay any attention to anyone else as she skipped off in the direction of what could be assumed to be her dressing room.

Maybe she hadn’t been looking directly at Eve then. Of course she hadn’t been.

“Okay, so we follow.” The Russian said as he marched off in the direction Villanelle had trailed off in. Eve followed with confused raised eyebrows.

The space behind the stage felt incredibly cramped now and Eve was acutely aware of the three other people who were here for the same reason as her.

They had to go down a set of stairs before coming to a door that had an A4 sheet of paper that said VILLANELLE. The Russian knocked on the door, but then went on through. As they all piled into this room that probably couldn’t fit all of them in along with Villanelle and her little minions that were running around her in that moment, Eve was staring at Villanelle’s reflection in the mirror she was calmly staring into.

“Take this off.” She said, pulling at her pink hair.

Eve was shocked at both the fact that Villanelle had a Russian accent as well and her hair was actually brown, not pink at all. She piled it on top of her head lazily, as she stared in the mirror at what was happening behind her. Something seemed to light up in her eyes.

“What is going on in here? A party?” A smirk played on her face as she asked it. “Konstanin, you are so naughty, it is such a _long_ day tomorrow.”

Her voice was so playful and she even tutted at the end of her sentence. She turned around in her chair, as Konstanin, who this Russian man could now be assumed to be called, began to answer her question.

“These are the candidates for the bodyguard position.”

Villanelle stood up from her chair and rolled her eyes.

“Ughhhh… Of course, I know that. It was a joke, stupid!” She tutted once more, but it soon transformed into a childlike giggle.

Eve didn’t know how she felt about Villanelle, but all she knew was that she was incredibly intrigued. She was coming across almost mentally unhinged, but she felt like maybe she could handle that.

Villanelle picked an apple from the side and took a large bite from it, chewing in the loudest of ways. She walked along the row of people, eyebrows raised challengingly with her mouth full of green apple.

She stopped at the bland man that Eve had interacted with earlier. She leaned in closer and sniffed once dramatically.

“You smell weird.”

Eve had to swallow the snort that could have escaped her then, but she mumbled as she turned to the floor,

“Probably of cheese.”

It was definitely louder than Eve intended it to be, as she heard Villanelle exclaim in return,

“It _is_ cheese!”

Eve snapped her head up in surprise at Villanelle’s words and could see that she had now turned her hungry attention to Eve. She walked over, taking another deliciously large bite of her apple, as her eyes stayed right on Eve’s. When she stopped in front of Eve, she smiled. It was not a friendly smile, but was almost challenging. Eve didn’t return it, but stood up a little straighter.

She looked like she was taking in all of Eve and she was happy to let her do that for the purposes of this stare down.

Villanelle’s smile faded fast and instead she looked almost hurt. She audibly swallowed her apple chunk in the silence.

“You don’t smile at me?”

Eve didn’t know what to say.

“I… I’m just trying to be professional.”

Villanelle snorted loudly before returning to take another bite of her apple. She looked at Konstantin and stuck her thumb in Eve’s direction.

“This one.”

Konstantin let out an uneasy laugh.

“Villanelle, you’re supposed to be asking them questions. On their experience, their background -,” He began to loudly whisper in a strained voice.

“Ugh, no, that’s _boring_.” She smiled back in Eve’s direction before pointing at her hair. “Besides I like her hair.”

Eve’s hands automatically flew to her large black ringlets and softly one of her hands stroked through her mane. Villanelle’s eyes followed that one hand.

Konstantin groaned and shook his head.

“Really? Again?”

“ _Really_? _Again_? Yes, Konstantin!” She mimicked his appalled voice and turned to go back to her chair.

“Uhm… What exactly is going on here?” Eve asked, completely missing what had been approved.

Villanelle turned back around dramatically, her fringed outfit twirling around her.

“You are staying with me now. We’re going to Edinburgh tomorrow and I will be wearing a kilt.” She turned around decisively then, ignoring the other people that were there to be selected for her bodyguard position.

Eve looked between Villanelle, the other people, who seemed annoyed and on the verge of kicking up a fuss, and Konstanin with wide eyes.

“Okay then… So just to confirm – I have the job now? You’re not inviting me on as some kind of groupie?”

She had never found herself in such a strange position.

Villanelle grinned in the reflection.

“Oh, Konstanin, you will show her a room, won’t you?” She rolled her eyes at Eve stood like a pedestrian amongst all this finery. “A groupie would be in my room, no?”  

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you think of this lil taster to the rest <3
> 
> hope you enjoy xoxo


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